Losing Your Identity

I have seen so many girls conform to a guy to be accepted & loved.  They will change their entire world to please a guy.  They will leave behind their identity, family & friends. 

 

I have watched girls change their personalities from one extreme to the next, depending on the type of guy they were dating.  Dating a cowboy – they are buying cowboy boots and every new country music cd.  Dating a jock – Girls will learn football, baseball, basketball.  They will memorize stats and players.

I have seen girls even go as far as choosing a career to match the guy they were dating.

I have seen girls become alcoholics & drug addicts to fit in with a guy that they believed they were “in love”.

The guys are completely oblivious to the girls’ needs because they are so caught up & living in his world. They believe their girl is happy because she leads him to believe that.   And she sincerely believes she is happy, but it is only temporary.  

 Sooner or later she will no longer be able to conform to a world that she was not created to be in.  She will realize that the relationship has been all about “him” and his world.  As she begins searching for her true identity she will be hurt, frustrated and angry when he won’t accept who she really is, who God created her to be.

I see a lot of this especially with girls from divorced parents.  Yes, another “Daddy” issue. 

At some point these girls did not feel accepted by their Father.  They may have witnessed their Daddy rejecting their Mother. 

 Fear of rejection will drive a wedge between mother & daughter.  The daughter will distance herself from her mother for fear that if her Father saw that she was anything like her mother, he would reject her also.  Often daughters will have to learn to be someone that they believe their dad will love in order to feel safe, free from rejection.

From here she will enter into relationships with guys under a false identity.  Taking on the guys likes, dislikes, family, friends and environment, leading to unhealthy & failing relationships.

Ladies, we must not be so hungry for love that we compromise our identity. We are fearfully & wonderfully made, accepted & loved just as we were created to be.  A man will not make you whole.  The wrong man will leave you lonely & hurting.  The right man will accentuate your personality and your life.

Fathers, treat your wives & ex-wives with acceptance & respect. Love your daughters unconditionally and accept who they are.

Saved by Grace ♥ Changed by Love

♥Cindy♥

Last Minute Salvation

To all those who believe they have until their death bed to accept Jesus because that’s what the thief on the cross did … Think again … The thief was still under the Law.  Jesus hadn’t died yet.

Saved By Grace♥Changed By Love

♥Cindy♥

Unity in the Body

If a "Christian" is more concerned about tolerance for sinners than unity in the Body of Christ, then I can assure you that that person is operating under the wrong influence.

Apostles & Pastors - Leadership Roles

Apostles & Pastors - Proper placement of leadership is essential for the ministry.  Leaders can either accelerate or hinder God's will for your ministry.

Saved By Grace♥Changed By Love

♥Cindy♥

Prophets

Prophets - When mockers come against you keep your emotions in-check.  Use God's power for increase instead of decrease.  Call them into repentance.

Saved By Grace♥Changed By Love

♥Cindy♥

I Am Nothing...But I'm ALL His ♥

I am nothing.  And everything I appear to be is Him.   He accepted me in all my messes, my failures, and my brokenness. 

I was a hurting, empty vessel.  I had nothing to offer Him but pain & shame.   All He wanted was my heart, but that was broken, cold & hardened…He said He didn’t care about the condition of my heart, He wanted it anyway.  

So…I gave Him my broken, cold, hardened, dying heart and He gave me a new heart & a new life.   He changed & transformed me with His love.

I heard the call, I answered, He chose.  He filled me with His power, made me holy & righteous, and anointed me for the call.

My righteousness is only found through Him.  It is only through Him that I move mountains.  It is only through Him that the sick are healed.  It is only through Him that I am able to rule & reign.

Repent, Submit, & Obey.

Saved By Grace♥Changed By Love

♥Cindy♥

A Very Merry Christmas 2013

What a wonderful time of the year.  A time of year full of activities with friends & family.   A time of year that is spent with special people in our lives.   

Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year. 

Growing up I was always busy with family, school & church activities, my favorite was always the Christmas program at church, of course back then it was the same every year.   Oh…and how about buying those cheesy gifts for the gift exchange at school.   And the fabulous 2 week Christmas vacation … and Snow, lots of snow.  We always had lots of snow.   One year I had the chicken pox during Christmas vaca and one year I had my tonsils removed. 

Christmas was very special. I remember some years I would wake of at 3am and sneak out to the living room to see if Santa had been there yet.   I always had everyone up by 6am if not 5am.  We would open our gifts and then head out to Grandma & Grandpa’s.  Grandma would have a huge Christmas breakfast for us.  Eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, biscuits & gravy, grapefruit, fresh squeezed orange juice and more. 

And then I had to grow up …

While my kids were here we followed the same tradition that I grew up with.   I would start decorating the house inside & out after Thanksgiving.  I would set a baking day and bake & make all kinds of cookies & candies.  Christmas cards would go out with the traditional Christmas Newsletter.  And at least one night of the Christmas season we would drive around and look at Christmas lights. On Christmas morning, sometimes at 3am, I would hear my babies sneak into the living room to see if Santa had been there yet.   The kids would wake me up early just as I did, we would open gifts and then head to Grandma & Grandpa’s for that yummy traditional breakfast.

And then Grandma had to go home …

Ok…I can handle this right … I can take over the traditional Christmas breakfast…So be it and the tradition was modified a bit.

And then my babies had to grow up …

It’s been 8 years since my youngest left home.   The first few years both of my kids lived in the area, so we carried on a modified version of the Christmas tradition.   

And then Grandpa had to go home …

O…geez…another hitch in the Christmas tradition that I held so dear to my heart.

And then life took both of the kids out of state.

It’s been 4 years since we’ve been together on Christmas.  

So…what does a single woman do on Christmas???  Good question.   One year I spent with a friend at his Mom’s house.  Very uncomfortable.  Apparently some families don’t like outsiders intruding on their traditions.  The last 2 years I spent alone, expecting company that didn’t show, ending up sad & disappointed, feeling like I didn’t matter, unimportant.

And then I had to begin a new tradition …

This year is different.  We have all heard it said that our happiness shouldn’t depend on anyone else.  Well, instead of waiting, hoping someone would notice me, hoping that someone would want to spend Christmas with me, I am beginning a new tradition.   I have reached out to some Pastors and asked if they know anyone that is alone of Christmas…I actually got a couple of responses!   I am going to pop by their homes, drop off a little gift, a hug and a prayer.  I just want to let them know that they are not alone on Christmas, they haven’t been overlooked or forgotten but that they do matter, they are important… they are important to me.

And when …

Life changes, kids grow up, families get smaller. Sometimes our traditions need to be modified and sometimes they die with our elders.   When life, things or people put a hitch in your giddy up … EMBRACE IT and make it even better than before!

Saved By Grace♥Changed By Love

♥Cindy♥