Losing Your Identity

I have seen so many girls conform to a guy to be accepted & loved.  They will change their entire world to please a guy.  They will leave behind their identity, family & friends. 

 

I have watched girls change their personalities from one extreme to the next, depending on the type of guy they were dating.  Dating a cowboy – they are buying cowboy boots and every new country music cd.  Dating a jock – Girls will learn football, baseball, basketball.  They will memorize stats and players.

I have seen girls even go as far as choosing a career to match the guy they were dating.

I have seen girls become alcoholics & drug addicts to fit in with a guy that they believed they were “in love”.

The guys are completely oblivious to the girls’ needs because they are so caught up & living in his world. They believe their girl is happy because she leads him to believe that.   And she sincerely believes she is happy, but it is only temporary.  

 Sooner or later she will no longer be able to conform to a world that she was not created to be in.  She will realize that the relationship has been all about “him” and his world.  As she begins searching for her true identity she will be hurt, frustrated and angry when he won’t accept who she really is, who God created her to be.

I see a lot of this especially with girls from divorced parents.  Yes, another “Daddy” issue. 

At some point these girls did not feel accepted by their Father.  They may have witnessed their Daddy rejecting their Mother. 

 Fear of rejection will drive a wedge between mother & daughter.  The daughter will distance herself from her mother for fear that if her Father saw that she was anything like her mother, he would reject her also.  Often daughters will have to learn to be someone that they believe their dad will love in order to feel safe, free from rejection.

From here she will enter into relationships with guys under a false identity.  Taking on the guys likes, dislikes, family, friends and environment, leading to unhealthy & failing relationships.

Ladies, we must not be so hungry for love that we compromise our identity. We are fearfully & wonderfully made, accepted & loved just as we were created to be.  A man will not make you whole.  The wrong man will leave you lonely & hurting.  The right man will accentuate your personality and your life.

Fathers, treat your wives & ex-wives with acceptance & respect. Love your daughters unconditionally and accept who they are.

Saved by Grace ♥ Changed by Love

♥Cindy♥