Forgiveness ... How???

 

October 27, 2009

A couple of days ago I wrote about “Why” we should forgive but sometimes forgiveness doesn’t come easy, especially when someone you love hurts you very badly.

When my husband chose to depart from God and chase after the things of the world I had to make a choice. Either I could also turn from God, harbor unforgiveness, bitterness, anger and hate toward the man that I trusted my heart with OR I could press in and seek God and His will for my life. I trusted God when I married this man and I knew I could trust Him to see me through this storm. So without a second thought I chose and made a commitment to ride the storm out with God leading the way.

I knew the first thing I was going to have to do was to forgive my husband. I could not have anything between God and I that would hinder my prayers.

So every morning I would pray, Lord I want to forgive him, please help me. God is faithful. ‘What do you forgive him for?’ I forgive him for adultery.
 

Attacks of the Enemy…

Then without fail, like clock work, the enemy of my soul would remind me of another offense my husband had committed against me. As I would dwell on the new offense the devil had reminded me of, the day that had started off forgiving had now turned into a day of bitterness and anger. So the next day when I prayed and asked God to help me forgive him for adultery, I added the new offense. As the days passed I would be reminded of other offenses, some old & some new.
 

My Counter-Attack…

So I began a list. Every time the devil would remind me of someway my husband hurt me I would add it to the list.

Some offenses showed up more than once on the list. For example, adultery & cheating,
Lying, deceit & manipulation. I would forgive my husband for adultery but then the devil would say ‘what about him cheating on you?’ Well, to me adultery & cheating are the same but apparently the devil thought he would trick me by using a different word. I caught on to him quickly, my list may have been redundant but it worked.

Every morning I would pray “Lord, Father, today I choose to forgive my husband for.
I would proclaim this to God … but I also proclaimed this to the devil. By doing this I had taken the authority away from the devil to use the offenses against me.
 

I wasn’t perfect…

Please, don’t get me wrong some days it wasn’t easy. Some mornings when I opened my eyes the devil was right there ready to hammer me with all that my husband had done. And some days I would fall right into his trap. The devil would tell me ‘he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven … look at all he has done … he promised you … he lied, he cheated … he doesn’t care about you … be mean to him, don’t forgive him.’
And for some stupid reason I would agree with him. I would rebel & retaliate against my husband, so I thought.
 

The result of disobedience…

I don’t think I need to tell you how my day would turn out … I would be bitter all day, murmur, and be ugly about the situation. My joy & peace was gone. I couldn’t focus on work. Praying didn’t come easy and I felt miles away from God. I was held in the bondage of unforgiveness. Not a good day, but nonetheless it was my choice. I had thought I was getting my husband back for what he had done but the only person I was hurting was myself. When I realized what I had done I would pull my list out & proclaim forgiveness. Absolutely amazing how that would turn my day around & get the enemy off my back.
 

Freedom…

Sometimes when the hurts are deep and forgiveness doesn’t come easy we may have to work at it everyday, it is a process, a process worth going through to achieve the freedom that accompanies forgiveness.

If you have unforgiveness in your heart, I want to encourage you to seek God, ask for His help to release & forgive. This process worked for me but God may have another plan for you. Trust Him to see you through.
 

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25

Lord, Father thank You for teaching me how to forgive. Thank You for the Holy Spirit, whom You sent to guide, lead and direct me into all truth. Father, I choose to walk in forgiveness today. Father, I ask that the Holy Spirit will quicken my spirit when an offense comes upon me so that I may forgive right away. May Your joy strengthen me today and may I possess the peace that surpasses all understanding. May Your light of love shine through me today. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.  

Saved By Grace ♥ Changed By Love

Cindy